How many times have you had to split the holidays between both sides of the family?

Often we run around between houses; we visit aunt Lillys house but have to leave by 3 o’clock if we want to make it grandpa Chucks by 4 o’clock.  Often leaving us exhausted unable to fully enjoy the holidays and worse we often take it out on our spouse. Not only because we are stressed but because our significant other is talking to someone else at the holiday parties and not with you at all. How great would it be if this could be avoided?

If you have read any of my other blogs surrounding couples, you’ll know they talk about communication being open and honest, however nonverbal communication is just as important. Holiday get-togethers or just get-togethers are wonderful places to use what I am going to refer to as touch points. Not to be confused with Berry Brazelton Touch points. These touch points are ways to communicate with your spouse to let them know you’re still there, and checking to see if they are okay. Due to it being the holidays our social batteries often run out faster than on any typical day. These touch points can be a simple hand on the back, a kiss, two taps for let’s wrap this up and get going, three for “I’m having a great time.” And so on and so forth. It allows for you and your partner to be in communication with each other and allows for the communication to feel fun because no one will know what you are talking about or doing.

We as humans often struggle with asking for help from others, allowing this type of communication with your spouse will create a safe environment to let each other know where you stand during these crazy Holiday times. Enjoying the Holidays may be easier if there is a clear understanding between you and your spouse about where you are mentally and emotionally during these trips to and from everyone’s house. If you are struggling with communication in your relationship, try to use this as an opening to better communication with your spouse. This may even be great to use with children as well. Spending the holidays between multiple homes is stressful, however it does not have to be impossible or dreadful.

Happy Holidays!

About the Author: 

Leilani Mitchell, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #127220