Look back on any of my articles and I am sure that you can find my own, personal theory that all we need in life is control and safety.  Well, anxiety is definitely a way that our brains work to create both of those things for us – you know, control and safety.  And, if you’re like me, it probably doesn’t feel good to know that the one thing that is trying to protect you; trying to give you a sense of security, a sense of safety, and a sense of control … is actually the one thing that is providing us with the things that hurt us the most – our mind.  Our minds are curious, little things.  Did you know that our mind works to protect us from the curiosities that could happen to us and, more importantly, the things that could hurt us?  And… if you don’t listen to your mind, even for a minute, it starts labeling you all sorts of negative things.  I tell clients all the time that if we could get our brains (yes, our minds!) to be just positive as it is negative, then there would be no stopping us.  That’s because there are times that it probably even feels like your mind is torturing you; that’s because it is.  

Anxiety Whispers Falsehoods into Our Minds

The truth is that our anxiety has a way of whispering negative things into our minds through the use of different types of statements that we tell ourselves.  Most of the time, these are cognitive distortions (those little, pesky, false statements, that we tell ourselves in an effort to keep us safe); however, this desire to stay safe and in control of our life, often comes with a gamut of other issues including a blurred sense of reality or even the idea that we will never get better; that our anxiety will never leave; that if we don’t plan every minute detail of our lives, we will surely not survive that part.   Now in last month’s article, I wrote about Tigger.  A few months prior, I wrote about Eeyore.  In each of those two articles, I pledged that I would explain different diagnoses through the lens of the A.A. Milne characters found in Winnie the Pooh.  So, in this article, we will use the Winnie the Pooh character, Piglet, to explain how anxiety warps our own way of thinking and the things that we can do about it.  

But is it just trying to Keep Us Safe?

Just like with any diagnosis, there are symptoms that we can all fit into.  Still, someone with anxiety will often worry about other worries too (yeah, I said it… they worry about their worries, which often gives them even more things to worry about.  What a mouthful!)  Remember that our anxiety’s goal is to keep us safe; not to tell the truth and definitely not to keep us happy.  Anxiety can be considered a master manipulator.  Anxiety does not shout, it whispers.  Anxiety does not ask for new things but it often keeps us stuck because we are, in effect, not asking ourselves for newer, bigger, or even better.  One of my favorite quotes about anxiety is from Charles Spurgeon (I didn’t know he was either and found that he was a preacher from the 1850s) who stated that “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today from its strengths.”  What does this mean?  Well, for me, it means that anxiety is going to steal all happiness and beauty from our lives if we let it.  It is my belief that in order to understand what we want to change, we have to understand what it is we are changing.  And who doesn’t want to heal what they are going through?  Who doesn’t want to find calm and surrender in a life that is full of so many mysteries already?  So, if we don’t want to let our anxiety tell us some nasty secrets that will ultimately drain all of our happiness from us, we have to understand anxiety and the root cause of that. 

A Walk Through the Hundred Acre Wood

 Imagine you are walking through the Hundred Acre Wood and run across a tiny, pink creature who goes by the name of “Piglet”.  Piglet seems timid, scared perhaps, gentle and thoughtful.  tells you that he has many different friends that are in the Wood.  He asks you if you’ve seen his friends, he looks at you and loudly oinks “Oh d-d-dear!”  You see, he was looking for his friends because he was somehow afraid without them.  Piglet asks you if you would like to join him as he, being so small, takes off.  With you at Piglet’s side, he begins to tell you stories about his friends and the way he feels like his friends can often judge him too harshly.  He tells you about his friend Christopher Robin who he often goes to for advice.  He tells you about how he feels like Christopher Robin is the only one who totally understands him even though he has many other friends, especially Winnie the Pooh; Piglet’s best bear friend.  He also told you of how his friend’s energy (you know how busy Tigger can be) can make him feel super anxious but that he never means any harm.  He tells you about Rabbit and how he thinks Rabbit is the hardest one in his friend group to get along with but that Eeyore, his quiet donkey friend, is more steadfast and comforting.  While Piglet tells stories of his friends, he brings you down the path of friendship and care.  During that walk, he also explains to you how he is worried.  He tells you of how he worries about getting lost in the Hundred Acre Wood or how he worries about Heffalumps, scary things in the woods, and even disappointing his friends.  You see, Piglet often worries about making mistakes and makes such statements as “Supposing something goes wrong…”  but what if I were to tell you that not everything will go wrong?  That not everything can go wrong?  That anxiety exists in Piglet as a beautiful representation of what anxiety can look and feel like in many of us?

What does Anxiety W-A-N-T?

You see, just like Piglet, you know – the tiny, pink piglet in Winnie the Pooh, many of us experience some of the same symptoms with anxiety.  There are five symptoms that create anxiety and are easily remembered through the acronym of W-A-N-T.  I love using this acronym because it is something that we can all remember and apply when examining our symptoms of anxiety.  Let’s break this acronym down.

Worry and Overthinking

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (otherwise known as just plain ol’ anxiety or even GAD) is where a person often worries about various things but struggles to get the worry to go away – even if there is little to no reason for the person to worry or overthink about something.  I often confess to my clients that I struggle with anxiety.  I tell them about how I worry about things no matter how big-or-small they may be.  I tell them all the time that things trigger me and that even when I work very hard to stay organized, work to be dependable, and even find myself being very detail-oriented, I worry about so many things.  I worry about sounding “stuipid” and feel like if I make even the simplest of mistakes, people will think I’m not good enough to be a therapist or that I just simply don’t know enough  (look at these “secrets” my own anxiety is telling me.)  From this, I work hard to be on top of my game.  Still, it’s in these moments that my anxiety is lying to me.  

Like me, Piglet is no different.  Piglet can often be seen fretting over things that could happen.  He finds things to worry about and focuses on his Cognitive Distortion of “would’ve – could’ve – should’ve”.  Piglet finds himself asking a lot of questions and worries about the weather, the scary sounds he hears, the places he is afraid to go, and even finds himself worrying about how his friends see him.  In the classic story by A.A. Milne, Piglet expresses his worry to his best bear friend, Pooh, when he states “Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?”  Why would Piglet worry about something like this?  Simply put, it’s not him but rather his worry, fear, and habit of overthinking that leads Piglet to think something may happen to him and his best friend; however, when Piglet voices this to Pooh, Pooh ponders the claim and simply tells Piglet, “Supposing it didn’t.”  This flip-of-the-coin response from Pooh leads Piglet to a sense of calmness and a feeling of comfort.  

What a thing to do!  If we could all just see both sides of an issue, two sides to every worry, or even just work to calm ourselves the way that Pooh calmed his best pal, Piglet.  So, what can we do if our worries are excessive, our thoughts are distorted, or even if we feel worried despite concrete reasons to, in fact, worry?  What if our worries cause restlessness or fatigue, muscle tension, or soreness?  I would suggest leaning into our physical feelings if we are not trusting our emotional feelings, looking for triggers for your worry, asking yourself what “secrets” your anxiety is telling you, and creating a pre-determined “worry” time.  Creating a “worry” time allows you to choose a time you have time to worry.  So, say you get off of work at 430PM every day, you may choose to create your “worry” time that is after work – perhaps 7pm to 9pm on certain days of the week.  The trick with using “worry” time for your life would be for you to then do something after your created “worry” time to decompress from your worries so that you can go to bed by 1030PM or so.  

Avoiding Behaviors

Avoiding certain situations and behaviors would be just what it says – avoiding doing things.  Avoiding behaviors, also known as “avoidance”, occur when a person attempts to avoid situations, tasks, or even people that make them feel anxious and often provide temporary relief for the person by reducing their in-the-moment stress.  Take the example of a college student with anxiety. Edward “Eddie” Jones is a 22-year-old with social anxiety and does not like doing things in front of others.  He is a thoughtful, well-versed, and studious student at the nearby university where he gets good grades, studies hard, loves coding but becomes overwhelmed when asked to speak in a group situation.  He often skips lectures that require group discussions; he never raises his hand to ask a question in class, and stays quiet fearing that he would look “dumb” or that his classmates will make fun of him.  The “secret” that stalls Eddie in his studies is that he repeatedly hears his thoughts of “You’re gonna say something stupid” or “Everyone will make fun of you.”  His internal struggle is that Eddie is avoiding doing certain things often at the cost of his grade, an increase in his own fear, and feeling like there is no way to escape the situation he doesn’t want to be a part of.  

Piglet is no different than Eddie.  Piglet hesitates to go on adventures; Eddie hesitates to talk in class.  Piglet imagines negative outcomes; Eddie imagines that people will think he’s “stupid”.  Piglet attempts to find an excuse to not have to go; Eddie repeatedly hears his thoughts that “You’re gonna say something stupid”.  They are both acting out of a form of avoidance in order to try to control their stress; however, they are ultimately feeding their anxiety through their own coping mechanisms because they are just feeding the Anxiety Monster.  So, what do we do?  Is it okay to just push forward and make yourself do these things no matter how overwhelming these situations and behaviors feel that you are trying to avoid?  To stop avoiding behaviors, I would first and foremost try to a five-step process, which includes (1) figure out what you are avoiding, (2) make a list of the things that you find yourself avoiding, (3) learn and use coping strategies, (4) make small, manageable changes, and (5) seek professional help from Fresno Family Therapy to find ways to manage your avoidance in a productive way.

Let’s break those down even further:

1. Figure Out WHAT You are Avoiding – Now this is gonna take a lot of honesty, awareness, and curiosity with yourself.  So, pay attention to your thoughts, identify the feelings that are coming up for your when you find yourself avoiding things, and look at your environment.
2. Make a List of Things You are Avoiding – Now, this can be a pretty powerful tool where it can seem like you are shining a flashlight onto your problems.  It’s where you divide your life into different parts: (1) mental/emotional; (2) social; (3) practical; (4) work/school; (5) health and self-care; (6) your goals and dreams.
3. Learn and Use Coping Strategies – It’s important to create a toolbox of coping skills.  Choose things you will probably do when your anxiety is rising and you are feeling out of sorts.  Write those things down.  Place the things you wrote down in a visible place where you can know to go look if you don’t know what to do at the moment.  An example of this would be to write down: JOURNAL, CALL MY FRIEND, GO FOR A WALK, and LISTEN TO MUSIC.  
4. Make Small, Manageable Changes – Start small and work to use the simplest of tools first.  More importantly, remind yourself that you deserve support; even support from you.  Sometimes we avoid coping skills because we are pushing ourselves for perfection.  This is not the best answer.  Instead, choose to look inside yourself and try to make changes throughout the next month, instead of all at once.
5. Seek Professional Help – If you feel like your anxiety is affecting your daily life; if your symptoms are intense and frequent; if you tend to use maladaptive coping skills over pro-social coping strategies; or even you feel worthless, hopeless, or like things will never change, please know that you deserve support.  You deserve support long before you get to your rock bottom.  So, reach out to Fresno Family Therapy today.  The trained therapists at Fresno Family Therapy are here to help teach you what your anxiety needs so that you can work to find skills that will release some of it.  

Nervous Speech and Other Physical Forms of Tension

Physical reactions are a huge part of overall anxiety as are symptoms of stuttering, a dry throat, jumbled thoughts, trembling, sweating, flushing, blushing, difficulty breathing and taking a breath in, and even nausea or having a headache.  While it is clear that these are all physical reactions that some people can experience with their anxiety, they can also struggle with the need for someone to reassure them too.  These physical reactions are often linked to the person’s autonomic nervous system.  Did you know that according to Harvard Health Publishing, “In today’s world, many people may be noticing new physical symptoms without realizing what’s causing them. For some people, this situation is the start of a vicious cycle. Anxiety and stress themselves produce these physical symptoms, and on top of that your reaction to those symptoms can make them worse”  Harvard Health explains that “the more you focus on them, the more alarmed you become, and the more intense your symptoms become.”  Think about a person who experiences a panic attack but thinks they are experiencing a heart attack – many people have physical reactions for their anxiety like this.   

Think of Nervous Speech as the example of Mayda who is a 17-year-old senior at her High School.  She is talented in writing, poetry, and the viola but when it comes to her speaking in front of people or even when her Orchestra Director asked her to be First Chair, she struggled to form a full sentence and felt like her voice was very shaky.  She spoke quickly, kept saying “umh” and “like” and felt really awkward.  Ultimately, Mayda felt like her being First Chair for the Viola was not the right decision for her if she had to be on the edge of the row to the dismay of the Orchestra Director.  After school, Mayda told her friend Jules about what happened and even though she figured Jules would be upset and might negatively perceive her, she told her that this was the right decision for her.  To this, Jules asked Mayda “Why don’t you want to be first chair? That’s a huge let down for our entire orchestra.”  Since Jules brought up the question of “why” this could be happening for Mayda, let’s explore.  My thought is that Mayda’s nervous system, much like all of ours, was on high alert.  Mayda was in fight, flight, fear, or freeze.  

Piglet’s anxiety is no different than that of Mayda’s except his friends, like Pooh, push him to go exploring even if he fears what comes up for him.  Sure, Piglet stutters and is most famous for his “Oh d-d-dear!”  Piglet’s signature stutter truly depicts his anxiety as does his body language of shrinking, teeth chattering, and even clutching tightly to his friend, Pooh.  Think of the Heffalump Trap that A.A. Milne set up for Pooh and Piglet.  Piglet and Pooh dig a pit to try and trap a Heffalump and when Piglet feels like he and his bear-friend have caught a Heffalump, he definitely panics.  Piglet shows the freeze response when he whispers and trembles; he tries to run away, he tries to calm his imagination; nothing works.  Now this is just one example of how Piglet shows the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn response but his reactions do not signify that he is a failure but rather that he is truly brave.  Or as Pooh would say… “Piglet may be a very small animal… but he has a very big heart.”

The Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn Response is your body’s automatic way of protecting yourself whenever it feels that danger is near.  It’s like your mind has four choices to do when it feels like there’s danger and these four ways include (1) fight – you get angry, confrontational, and act out of defensiveness.  You feel like if you don’t fight for what you want or how you want to be treated, no one will understand, (2) flight – this is when your natural response is to run away.  You don’t necessarily choose to avoid the situation but rather choose to leave the situation, (3) freeze – your response is to shut down, go silent, choose to be still, and make no changes.  It’s like if you see a bear (definitely not Pooh for this one) and you freeze, and (4) fawn – you go instantly kind, appeasing others that are near you and you tell yourself that if you help the danger, the danger won’t get you.  Remember that each of these are truly forms of survival responses that your brain chooses between in order to maintain control, feel safe, and minimize the danger (or the threat of danger in front of you).  While it’s not always easy to notice when we are in the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn response, it is important that when you notice your nervous system shift, you do something about it.  Something I recommend you do is to maintain your breath throughout the day.  Wake up and do some small breaths while you tell yourself nice things you like about you.  On your lunch break, try box breathing (you know where you breathe in for the count of four, you hold your breath for four, you exhale for four, and you hold that exhale for four).  Then after dinner, go for a walk, lead a family stretch, or even shake out your hands and arms and work on bear hugs with your partner.  Remember that the more your nervous system learns to feel safe (it’s usually created through patterns and repetition), the faster it will believe you that you are safe – hey, maybe even your anxiety will learn to trust you!

Talking Down to Yourself and other forms of Negative Self-Talk

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (otherwise known as “anxiety” or even “GAD”) leaves the person experiencing a lowered sense of self where they doubt themselves and their thoughts as well as leads them to catastrophizing and seeking reassurance.  Many people with anxiety seek reassurance from others when they feel unsafe, uncertain, or even like they cannot trust a situation; however, all this tends to do is amplify their thought that they cannot trust themselves.  Think about Piglet.  Piglet’s thoughts often spiral into the worst-case scenario, even about himself.  Piglet often magnifies small concerns into huge issues and expands upon the saying “making mountains from molehills” (or whatever it is).  If Piglet hears a noise, he often imagines that a Woozle or a Heffalump are coming to get him and his friends.  More than that though, he doesn’t just fear something going wrong, he fears that everything will ultimately go wrong.  He seeks reassurance, which he often receives from his bear friend, Pooh, but he never really trusts himself.  Instead, he talks down to himself and uses negative self-talk to continue to get himself to believe that he is not “enough”, he is not “worth it”, and that he is just able to do things the same as his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood.  

Philip is no different.  Let’s imagine that Philip is a Senior in High School who is studying for a math test.  He studies for days but often tells himself that he is “too stupid to pass” and that “I can’t do anything.”  While it is easy to see that Philip is not treating himself very nicely, it is not always easy to know how to change our negative statements into positive ones.  (Take a look at my article on Changing your negative thoughts into positive ones ). Still in the Calm app, it is recommended that we use reframing in order to do this.  In fact, on the Calm app, Chris Mosunik, PhD states that “Reframing your negative thoughts can seem challenging, but with some straightforward techniques, you can make a significant, positive change in your outlook and mental wellbeing. The goal isn’t to never have negative thoughts—it’s to manage them in a way that they don’t overwhelm you.”  So, instead of  just saying… “That wasn’t nice of me to think that way,” I want you to begin doing this instead:

1. Notice the Thought – Philips was that “I can’t do anything.”
2. Name the Thought – If you read my article, “Changing your negative thoughts into positive ones”, you will know what each type of Cognitive Distortion we all deal with.  Name yours!  Philip is Catastrophizing.
3. Question the Thought – Check in on your thought and ask yourself “Is that 100% true?”  Most of the time, and even more, your thought is not all true.
4. Reframe the Thought – We know that the thought was not a healthy thought and that Philip was catastrophizing; however, what is true?  He studied but didn’t understand the material, which is why he did poorly on the test.  So, it’s not that “I can’t do anything” but rather “I really didn’t understand that material, I need to talk to my parents about getting a tutor because I don’t want to fail.”

Piglet Doesn’t Give Up So You Shouldn’t Either

Anxiety is something that tries to keep us safe but definitely tells us that since something could go wrong, we need to be ready.  Anxiety is part of our fight-flight-freeze-fawn response, and is something that we can work to reduce the effects of.  Piglet doesn’t give up on the things that he wants and his friends don’t choose to give up on him.  He has supportive relationships and leans on his friends for support.  He faces his fears head on, just thinking about the way Piglet is “In the House at Pooh Corner,” and is able to leave Owl’s collapsed house to find ways to help his friend.  He talks about his feelings and doesn’t present in a way that he is not.  One of my favorite things about Piglet is that he often stutters.  “I d-d-don’t think I can do this!”  He also practices working on negative self-talk, which can be seen with statements like “It’s hard to be brave” or “I can still be brave.”  The truth is that handling our anxiety does not mean that we need to make our anxiety disappear completely.  Instead, it means doing the things that will work to manage our symptoms in a productive way.  An example of how to handle anxiety and how to be brave in light of your fears and anxieties, would be to:

1. Name your Anxiety:  “I feel super anxious.”
2. Soothe your Body:  Use Positive Affirmations, deep breathe, and move your body.
3. Challenge your Thought:  Ask yourself “Is this kind?” or even “Am I being kind to me?”
4. Ask for Help to ease your Thoughts:  Call Fresno Family Therapy today.
5. Be Kind to your Self:  “I may be anxious right now but it doesn’t always have to be this way.

If you think you may be struggling with anxiety or symptoms of it, please reach out to Fresno Family Therapy today!  Therapists, here at Fresno Family Therapy, are trained to help guide you through our structured, evidence-based methods that not only help you find coping strategies to help with your most perplexing symptoms but also will help you gain the insight you need for this diagnosis and your possible symptoms.

Please Note:  This article is for informational purposes only and should not be used as more than one simple way to share what “My diagnosis means what?!” means for our readers.  This article is a part of a series to help us all see and understand what our diagnosis is or means or what our loved one’s diagnosis is and means for them.  In subsequent articles, we will also address other Winnie the Pooh characters, including Winnie, himself, Pooh, Rabbit, Owl, and even Christopher Robin.  Stay tuned for more!

Resources:  

Guys-Evans, Olivia.  (June 23, 2025).  “Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: How we respond to threats.”  Retrieved at:  https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html 

Harvard Health Publishing.  (July 29, 2024).  “Recognizing and Easing the Physical Symptoms of Anxiety.”  Retrieved at:  https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/recognizing-and-easing-the-physical-symptoms-of-anxiety 

Mayo Clinic Health System.  (October 4, 2024).  “Coping with Anxiety Disorder”.  Retrieved at:  https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/11-tips-for-coping-with-an-anxiety-disorder 

Mosunic, Chris.  (January 4, 2025).  “Reframing Negative Thoughts:  how to challenge negative thinking.”  Retrieved at:  https://www.calm.com/blog/reframing-negative-thoughts 

About the Author: 

Tammie Makely, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #113186

• Addiction
• Trauma
• Couples Therapy
• Sex Addiction
• Anger Management
• Sexual Abuse
• EMDR
• Grief/Loss
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Stress management
• Co-Occurring Disorders
• Codependency Issues